Does It Always Have To Be About the Food?

I’ve been waiting all year to write this particular article. I first got the idea last January after 3+ months of parties, trick or treating, holidays, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. A good friend of mine said, “I just want a salad and some fish.”

So my thought is, “Does it always have to be about the food?” Every time there is a get- together, of any sort, the biggest concern is the food. “Who’s snack mom this week?” “What should I bring?” “How many different desserts do we need?” “Can we have a bake sale?” “Candy Sale?” “Pancake Breakfast?” Guess how much Halloween candy is in the jar and you win the whole thing. As if my kids won’t get enough candy from trick or treating.

Last year on New Year’s Eve my husband and I went out to dinner with a group of friends. Afterward everyone was to come back to my house for champagne at midnight. My husband said, “Should I order sandwiches?” What?! We just had a huge meal. “But the men are going to want something,” he said. OK, so I caved and we ordered cold cuts, and other snacks to nibble on. I ended up throwing out over $300 worth of food that night. No one wanted anything, except the champagne, and maybe a cookie or two. And, yes, I had to throw out the food because it sat out for over two hours and I can’t afford to get sick eating contaminated food.

Let’s talk turkey. On Thanksgiving, how many side dishes do you serve? How many desserts? When I was a kid, we started Thanksgiving off with raviolis and meatballs as an appetizer. Was that necessary? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about tradition. I’m not suggesting that no food is served. I’m not even suggesting that you modify all your traditional recipes to be “low fat” and “low carb.” Can’t we just be sensible about it? .
Can’t we get together to enjoy each other’s company and celebrate the season or event for what it is and make the food secondary?

Every year around the holidays, you see articles about how not to gain 10 pounds. Here’s one way: Don’t serve such a huge smorgasbord of food. You are much more tempted to overeat when there are more foods to choose because you want to try everything. In his book, “Mindless Eating,” Brian Wansink reports the results of a study done using only M&M’s. He planted a bowl of multicolored M&M’s in one room and planted a bowl of just red M&M’s in another room. People who saw the multicolored M&M’s ate more than the people who saw the boring old same colored M&M’s. Isn’t that ridiculous? We all know the red ones taste like the orange ones. But mentally, we think that we have to try all of them because one might be better than the other.

So here’s what you do this holiday season. Serve the turkey, two vegetables, stuffing, gravy and a salad. Serve one dessert, and a fruit plate. Believe me, there is less work for you, less waste and less waist. Are you thinking, “What will the guests think?” I’ll tell you exactly what they think. I hear clients, co-workers, and friends complaining frequently how there is always too much food, and how they feel compelled to eat too much. They say, “My mother-in-law (hostess, friend, sister, whoever) will be offended if I don’t eat everything. Secretly, people don’t really want all that food. Being presented with a buffet is a huge stressor for some people. I think that people serve a ton of food because it’s tradition and they think they have to, or they should.

So this year, I am starting a new tradition, and I need you to jump on the bandwagon. If it’s going to work, we all have to do it. I’ll still serve a beautiful thanksgiving dinner, without the raviolis, and my guests will have enough to eat. For fun, I’m going to buy a box of those conversation starter cards. I’ll suggest we go out for a walk, or kick the soccer ball, or play with the new dog, or I’ll put on some music and dance. Then I’ll do it again for Christmas, New Years and Friday night happy hours. Then my guests will say, “Wow, that was fun, and I don’t feel stuffed.” Who’s with me?